Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Traffic Jam - A Nightmare

Living in a city, like Bangalore, the words ‘Traffic Jam’ itself gives many of us a nightmare and sends cold shivers down the spine. In my opinion, these jams can actually be used as a tool to measure a person’s patience level. Sometimes, it is so worst that you feel like leaving your vehicle behind and just walking up to your destination. Sounds bizarre, isn’t it? But that’s how the traffic in Bangalore forces you to act. You are at your wits end when the vehicles refuse to move even an inch.
Adding to the agony, are timed signals. I always have a feeling that these signals are timed in such a way that the moment they see my vehicle approaching the crossing line, they turn red from green. I feel as if the red light is sarcastically giving me a smile of victory. Different signals at various junctions are timed differently. The least being 30 seconds, and the maximum is 130 seconds in certain big junctions.

As a routine, like every morning I was travelling to office in my two-wheeler and took the usual route. To my surprise, the usual silent lane had lots of vehicles lined up behind each other. I thought to myself, may be some big vehicle like a bus or truck has come in the wrong way and hence this commotion. Once the vehicle moves, everything will be fine. I was wrong. The traffic jam here was the result of a bigger jam in the junction ahead. Everybody was impatiently waiting to reach their destination. People had to reach office, some students were returning back home from their summer camps. In the midst of all this, I saw a lady who was asking every auto rickshaw to drop her to the main road junction. But, the snooty auto-drivers refused plainly, as they always do. The lady was worried. Atleast, her facial expression were such. I decided to help her. I went to her and told her that I was going towards the same route and would drop her where she wanted to. She thanked me and took the pillion seat. The traffic was stalled for around forty five minutes in the same signal. The lady was frantically making calls to many people. Though, she spoke in her mother tongue, I could make out that she was depressed. I asked her the reason of her worry, to see if I could help. She told me that her two kids were at school and the school would close at 11 AM. It was already 11 and she was stuck here in traffic, uncertain of when she would reach. Her kids were aged 4 and 5 years respectively. I could relate to her worry, but couldn’t do much as I was also stuck like her in traffic. She became more restless as each minute passed by. She did not have the class teacher’s number either. I was making a silent prayer in my heart for the traffic to get cleared so that the lady could reach her children. Finally, God seemed to hear my prayers and the traffic started moving slowly at a snail’s pace.

The lady got a call from her husband, who informed her that a bus had rammed into the compound wall of a military ground and hence, this entire commotion. She passed on the information to me. As the traffic started moving, we could see the collapsed wall and a fleet of traffic cops trying to manage traffic. There were news reporters getting a byte from the people who witnessed the incident. This added more to the already existing chaos. I heaved a sigh of relief and dropped the lady to her destination. She thanked me profusely. I told her to rush soon.  I reached office very late than the usual time.

Though, the traffic jam was horrible, I was not annoyed this time. The reason being, that I helped a mother reach her children. This feeling brought a sense of satisfaction in me. I knew that somewhere in her heart the lady would bless me. I was proud that I could bring a smile on a person’s face. The feeling lingered within me throughout the day and it was a happy day. Usually, traffic jams are a reason for grumpy feelings and frustration that spoil the day, but this time it was different and quite an unusual experience for me.

Thursday, 9 April 2015

Gestures Go a Long Way!!

Small gestures indeed go a long way. Recalling an incident from my newly married days, makes me fall in love with my DH again and again. It brings a broad smile on my face and I feel that the Dil ki Deal I made 5 years ago was the best after all. Among the several matches that my parents had sought for me, i chose my DH over everyone else. My heart took this decision of selecting my DH as my spouse, my soulmate. The incident i am going to narrate now always makes me feel that the DilKiDeal with my DH was indeed the right one!

We were newly married and were just settling in our new home. The house was not set up. The furniture and electronics were not set. Things were lying here and there. We had just returned from our honeymoon and I did not want to work. We were still basking in the honeymoon mood. We did not want to get to work and fix things as we were tired too. To top it all, there were dirty clothes strewn all around the house. Not to forget the fashion parade of wearing new clothes every day at our honeymoon, had only added to this pile! We did not have a maid even as we were new to the locality. We had to still figure out many things.

Now, there was this herculean task of washing clothes, which I had never done in my spinster days. There was always mom to take care of all this. I so missed her. However, I had no time to brood; I had to just think of a solution to solve this problem. I did not want to trouble DH, although he would have complied lovingly. The washing machine was standing there in the corner of the living room. We hadn’t even opened the packaging. So, unpacking it and calling the plumber and servicemen would take another two days. Not a good idea! I wanted to wash at least a pair or two of clothes immediately for use.

Finally, with a heavy heart I washed a pair of clothes, and my DH happened to see me doing that. He was not quite pleased with it, and offered to help, which I plainly refused. He tried convincing me to get it dry cleaned, to which I refused again. I was almost done with washing.

The next day I went to office and DH said he had a meeting and would go late to office. I left without him. As usual, I came back home in the evening and found my DH at home with toolbox and other things around. He had a bruise in his hand which he was trying to hide after seeing me. I was worried and asked if everything was alright. He assured me that everything is fine. I could see screws and other things on the floor and got perplexed. I went a little further and saw something and a silent tear escaped my eyes.

I saw that the washing machine was fixed and ready for use. For doing this, my DH had skipped office and he wanted to make sure that i dont do any more of washing, and wanted to get this fixed today. Since the servicemen refused to come that day, DH himself had fixed it. Even though he was not a pro at it, he had managed it successfully, just for my sake. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I felt like heaven. Even though it was just a small gesture for him, it meant a lot to me. It meant the world to me. It meant that my life was secured with a person who would go the extra mile to care for me. That day I realized that indeed my Dil ki Deal with DH,was a blessing in my life.

“I am participating in the #DilKiDealOnSnapdealactivity at BlogAdda in association with SnapDeal.”

Expression of Love to my eldest son (on his birthday)

Dearest Nephew,
You've turned twelve years old. I can’t believe how fast time flies. I remember when your mom and dad told us that they were expecting you… how overjoyed everyone was when they heard the news. You are the first grandchild of our house. Do you realize how special that is? And how special you are? You are so loved by all of us, my little one. Yes, I refer to you as little one as no matter how tall you grow you will still be my little one.

You once asked me if I would write you the meaning of a NEPHEW; I can't, not with you in mind, as I have always considered you ‘MY’ son. I may not be your biological mom, but you’re the one who introduced me to the world of motherhood with your arrival into this world. You have always held a special place in my heart and mind, and will continue to do so regardless of the number of birthdays you celebrate.

Though I have a son of my own, remember that you will always be my eldest son and you are as close as HE is to me. The love which I got from you in return is priceless and you still continue to love me the most. I love it when you prefer me over everybody else in the family. Its divine and I feel complete. Playing the role of a moderator during your fights with your parents is very easy. All I have to do is take your side.

You have been special since the moment I knew you would be you. I remember my first glimpse of you: tears were not to be denied as I finally met the beautiful person I had begun to know, the perfectly formed body with the tiny but strong hands with fingers that curled not only around my fingers, but also around my heart. Those hands are much larger and stronger, but they have never loosened their grip on my heart.

No, I cannot write to you the meaning of a nephew; you have been and will continue to be my son. I have watched as you continued to grow in your new world. I watched in wonder as you became aware of surroundings, as you began to focus on what and who was in your world, watched as you were challenged by sights, sounds, and obstacles.

I was thrilled to see you begin to crawl, was more than anxious when you began to walk and had more than a few false starts, and was speechless as you began to communicate in your language as you tried to learn ours. The date of your birth: one of the most precious days of my life, a source of joy that continues to this day to add meaning to my life. I am filled with satisfaction as I see you maturing into a fine young man with the world at your doorstep.

The world you entered just a short twelve years ago will continue to be filled with challenges, opportunities, some good and some bad, but only you will learn which door to close and which to enter. Just as I know the sun shines brightly today, I know the clouds will come tomorrow, clouds of disappointment, frustration, and anger. You must remember these are only clouds and will not linger long before the sunshine of new growth and new boundaries will once again widen the world you entered at your birth.

Dream big and never say you cannot do something. Always believe in yourself and understand that you will fail. It does not matter that you fail, it only matters that you get up. Life is not about anything other than living it. Keep your eyes, heart and mind open to it.

You are a precious gift in my life and I love laughing and giggling with you. I love it when you share you secrets only with ‘ME’. I love when you tell me all kinds of wrestling statistics. I love when you make those goofy faces. I love you not based on your accomplishments. I love you for who you ARE. So just be ‘YOU’. Be brave. Be bold. Love deeply and dream big. You are worth it. And I am for you.

Always by your side and loving you,
Your Loving Aunt


Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Double Standards

‘Double Standards’ is often associated with people who change rules according to their convenience and behave totally opposite in certain situations according to their own convenience. What is ‘Not Ok’ to them if others do it, is ‘OK if they themselves do it, for whatsoever reasons. The justification of why they did it the way they did, follows later. The justification part is just an activity to soothe their ego and to get rid of the guilt factor.

Why can’t people just mind their own business and not interfere in other’s personal lives? Before commenting on others, why can’t we just take a moment and take a glimpse of our inner selves. This will avoid much of the tensions and bitterness in relationships. When we see someone, not taking the usual way, the first thing we do is, do a postmortem of things and end up giving conclusions about the person’s character or background.

Is that necessary? Why can’t we just let go? Or rather why can’t we just put ourselves in that person’s shoes and think what the person might have gone through. Instead of being empathetic, we become mean and pass judgments. Incidentally, if the same situation occurs to us, we too behave in the same way as the other person, but we justify our doings with various reasons.  Why these 'double standards'?

Everyone has a reason for why they did what they did. Each one has a right on their life and can choose their own paths. If we can't support, then let's not atleast be a de-motivating factor in someone's life. We must ensure that our actions do not make life difficult for other people around us. Also, we should stop judging other people.Doing all this, will lead to a healthy and peaceful atmosphere and life becomes much easier for all of us!!